2003-06-20 - 11:13 a.m.
By request, I’m filling out the Cast page even though there isn’t much cast to speak of:
Me - Your host, So-Charming. Also known as Amy. 39 as of this writing, and currently a part-time student in a graphic arts program in community college. For more about me, see the link creatively entitled “About.”
The Prince - As in Prince Charming, get it? This would be the husband. He’s 31, a computer programmer, the smartest guy I ever met and an all-around sweetheart. We met online in 1998, and he’s the reason I moved from my native Ohio to the Chicago suburbs.
The Evil Childe - My daughter, a 17-year-old mouth with legs. Perpetual idea machine – Can I get my nose pierced? (No.) How bout my belly button? (No.) How bout my tongue? (No.) My eyebrow? (NO.) Can I shave my head? (No.) Can I paint my room black? (No.) Can I borrow your makeup ( jewelry, shoes, tape player, CDs, craft supplies, some money?) (No.) Can I go live with Amanda? (Please! Um... well, actually, no.) Is it ok if I swear? (No.) Well fuck you then! (Fuck you too.) Can The Boy stay all night if we promise we won’t have sex? (Hahahahahahahahahaha.... NO.)
The Evil Childe has ADHD, OCD and some other fun stuff going on. She’s smart as hell but has always had problems with her behavior in school and spent most of last year in a special high school for behavior-disordered kids. She’s doing pretty well and her goal is to be mainstreamed back into her regular high school sometime around the middle of the next school year.
The Boy - 17-year-old boyfriend of Evil Childe. Seems like a nice kid and treats her good. His patience and easygoing nature seem like the perfect complement to her wild and woolly ways.
Update: The Boy is no longer a Boyfriend but has been demoted to boy friend. The Evil One is now dating a 21-year-old College Boy who stays with his grandparents in Wisconsin while he's going to school and who she only gets to see when he comes home to stay at his parents' house on weekends. I definitely have mixed feelings about the whole situation, but I'm trying not to make a huge hairy deal over it in hopes that the distance will prove to put a damper on things. On the upside, I do think that climbing out of The Boy's ass and having some time alone to pursue other interests seems to be good for her.
Dick and Prunella - the ex-husband and his new whatever. There’s some serious bad blood between Evil Childe and Prunella stemming from the couple of years they were forced to share a roof and the attentions of Dick. Prunella is an angry, rigid, petty control freak, and Evil Childe is... well, aptly named. I used to think Dick was a great dad, but apparently he’s lost a bit of interest in the “old” child now that he has a new family. I may be simplifying too much, as there is some blame to be placed all around in the situation, but in spite of all the bad feelings that occurred, dammit, I expect him to be the adult when it comes to maintaining contact with his daughter. (I also expect him to grow a testicle and assert himself when Prunella tries to come between them but I guess that’s too much to ask.)
Casey (BigFat, Matt) Big-ass long haired tabby cat. Sullen and grumpy, hates to be held, petted or messed with in any way except on the bed in our bedroom, and only when he chooses. He of the dingleberries... the grooming nightmare. He’s deathly afraid of thunderstorms and will slink off to hide in my closet at the first far-off rumbling of thunder. He also has a thing for eating my shoes.
Thomasina (aka Little Cat) My little princess. A small, sleek black and gray tabby, delicate, graceful and very polite, with the most expressive tail I’ve ever seen on a cat. Aloof with everyone but me, once she made up her mind after a year of living with us that I would make an adequate mother substitute for her royal self. She’s got quite a little temper on her and when offended (which is frequently) she will draw back in utter contempt and hiss for all she’s worth. She HATES the Evil Childe— an interspecies sibling rivalry, no doubt. She also has a lingerie fetish and likes to grab my bras and nighties out of the laundry and drag them into the living room.
Luna (Bad Cat, Lunatic, Looney Tunes) A smoke-grey tabby. She was a foundling who wormed her way into our hearts by being ultra-affectionate and almost unbearably cute, so when no one claimed her we decided to let her stay. It quickly became apparent that this cat is the personality double of the Evil Childe. Willful and defiant and hyperactive and clumsy, she gets up on counters and shelves and furniture and breaks stuff. She runs outside any time the patio door opens forcing the Prince to jump over the balconey to retrieve her... and as soon as he jumps over, she runs back in the door. She’s ruined our crushed velvet sofa just by playing on it with her front claws out. Assmunch. Her favorite toy is a tampon. (She bats them around until the wrapper falls off and then pulls the little cotton “mouse” out of the cardboard tube.)
Punkin (the old man) the cat my daughter got for her birthday when she was eight. He’s about 10 years old now, and lived a hard life. He made himself an indoor/outdoor cat years ago when we lived in the country, then after we divorced Dick and Evil Childe moved to a place where the cat had to stay outside all the time. At some point he lost the use of one of his back legs and now hobbles around on three. He now lives in Evil Childe’s room... initially because we wanted to have him tested for diseases before releasing him among the other cats, but now because he has an unfortunate habit of pissing outside the litter box on occasion. Evil Childe knows to clean the spots with enzyme cleaner, but I’m afraid that if we let him have the run of the place the other cats would follow suit and soon we’d have a four-cat pee-fest on our hands. No thanks! He seems reasonably content to be retired from the hard life of an outdoorsman and spends most of his time sleeping on the Evil Childe’s bed.
So there you have it... I told you there weren’t many characters. The Prince and I have one whole friend between us... I haven’t decided on a diary name for her yet but it doesn’t matter since she’s the only one. So for now “our friend” refers to a woman the Prince went to high school with (and lusted after) in Georgia, who has since moved to downtown Chicago and who we get together with a few times a year (because we are lazy bastards with pitifully few social skills.) It’s a mad, mad social whirl, folks.
Since all of our extended family lives out of state, they don’t figure prominently in my diary and thus shall remain unnamed unless a need arises. The Prince’s dad will be referred to as “the Prince’s dad” or “my father-in-law.” You get the idea. Brothers will be “my one brother” or “my other brother” or “my other other brother” (I have three.)
Co-workers, teachers, and acquaintances of various sorts will likely only be named if they begin to be part of a continuing storyline.
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Previous - Next
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27
Designed by So-Charming.
Technical assistance provided by The Prince.