I've probably mentioned here before that my kiddo has some behavior problems due to ADHD/OCD/ODD. She's not as severe as some kids, but she still makes me crazy alot. I was a 'bad kid' myself, but I've always been under the impression that my behavior wasn't quite as severe as my daughter's.

Lately, though, I've been looking back on my childhood from a PARENT'S perspective, and my god was I a horrible little shit! I'm also very weirded out by the fact that I'm 37 years old, and this is the first time I've ever looked at my childhood from an adult perspective. I've only ever thought about my childhood as a whole from the perspective of what I felt, what I experienced. My behavior, on the other hand, I only examined in disjointed bits and pieces. (Maybe because it looks less bad that way?) Anyway, I tried writing an adult-perspective overview, and while I realize this is of little interest to anyone but me, I decided to post it here. It's long so I've decided to post it in two parts.

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Early childhood to age 4

-Was a colicky baby.

-Probably a bit spoiled� I was the first grandchild and had five grandmothers/great-grandmothers living when I was born. We lived near them so I don't think my butt ever sat on any surface except a warm lap until we moved when I was two.

-Sleepwalked frequently as a toddler and had night terrors.

-Hated to go to bed and wouldn't stay there. Mom once tied me to the bed with a jumprope.

-Very mean to my baby brother who was born when I was three. Used to like to shut his head in the door

-Sensory Integration issues-sensitive to heat, didn't like to wear a coat, couldn't stand wearing scratchy fabrics, ponytails, having hair brushed.

-Don't remember being hyperactive -mom might disagree, can't ask her because we don't talk-but I was definitely 'into everything' and had to be watched carefully. At age four, ate most of a bottle of orange-flavor baby aspirin while parents were busy in the basement and thought I was still asleep. Climbed to the top of the hall closet to reach. Was into parent's stuff constantly, particularly cosmetics and toiletries. Would get into stuff at neighbor's and relatives houses, too. Cut myself playing with a razor blade I found in the medicine cabinet at parents' friends' house. Smeared Noxema all over self and my aunt's bathroom. Parents continually mortified by my behavior.

-Very early riser. Used to aggravate my mother by getting up at 5 and watching the test pattern on TV while waiting for Captain Kangaroo to come on. Also discovered that the early morning hours were good for getting into things unobserved.

-Willful, single-minded. At age 4, once left the house at 6:30 in the morning because mother wouldn't get up at such an ungodly hour to take me on a promised visit to a friend's house. I got lost a block or so away and had to be brought home by a kindly neighbor lady who helped me find my house even though she didn't know us.

-Was a perpetual 'idea machine'-at age 4 put M&M's up my nose to make them taste salty. Yuk! Shared this 'recipe' with neighbor boy who promptly got an M&M stuck up his nose. I got spanked for telling him to do it.

-Blabbermouth-used to tell the neighbors all kinds of inappropriate stuff --my mommy sleeps without underwear on, there were two dogs in our driveway yesterday who had their butts stuck together, etc. (The gossipy neighbor man who lived on the left LOVED to talk to me.)

-Robbed neighbor's gardens constantly-gave flowers to my mom and used the produce for play. Used tomatoes for smashing on sliding board and sidewalk. Picked hot peppers to make potions for drinking on dares. Had a reputation as a 'bad little kid' in the neighborhood, and never understood why.

-Kept an extremely messy bedroom, and was completely unbothered by it. Can remember thinking that a clean room seemed rather cold and unwelcoming� I liked having all my stuff out where I could see it.

-Used to draw on the walls of my closet, even after being spanked for it several times. This did not go over well with evil-dictator father, particularly since he repainted it the first time it happened. I would not be dissuaded, however. I considered it my "magic drawing board," just like they had in one of my favorite cartoons.

-Father was also not amused at my booger collection. I used to pick my nose in bed at night and wipe it on the wall behind my bed, and had so many boogies spot-welded to the wall that my dad had to sand the wall and repaint it. I thought he was mean for spanking me.

-Used to lie to my friends to make myself seem more important and interesting. At 4, I was horrified to find out from mother that my two best friends were older than me by a few months, so I claimed that I was the oldest and spent an afternoon bossing them around until, much to my embarrassment, my own mother betrayed me with the truth.

-Tried out swearing at a friend, then lied to my mother and told her that the friend swore at ME. Mothers got together along with us kids, my mom defended me and was swiftly embarrassed when the truth came out.

-I remember at some point in my early childhood having the concious thought, "it's fun to be bad." I liked breaking rules, it made me feel excited and happy.

Ages 5-10

-HATED kindergarten because I didn't like the teacher telling me what to do. Got my hair ribbon taken away on the first day for playing with it in class, got mad and decided to leave school and walk home. (Had no idea how to get there, but I actually got out the door before she caught me!)

-Very impressionable, always wanted to try out things I saw on TV. In kindergarten put a thumbtack on someone's chair because I thought it would be funny like in the cartoons. Was horrified when the little girl cried, confessed to the teacher that I did it and she helped me apologize.

-Got spanked at least once every school year for minor infractions-stealing a gumdrop during a birthday party in first grade, bouncing a ball in the hall after being told not to in second grade. (I don't remember for sure, but I suspect that each incident was a 'last straw' type of thing after months of putting up with my aggravations and defiance of rules.) I don't recall being especially confrontive of authority figures, but I do know I disregarded the rules whenever it suited me.

-'Borrowed' stuff from my mother to take to school. Once I took her glasses and wore them. Another time I took her diamond engagement ring.

-Discovered that being yelled at, particularly by my mother, gave me a little thrill of excitement.

-I enjoyed the fact that I was 'known' by the principal. He knew me well enough to say hello to me by name in the halls, and it made me feel special.

-Nearly drove my third-grade teacher mad with aggravating and defiant behaviors. She once grabbed a pocket mirror away from me and smashed it on the classroom floor in anger because I kept using it to reflect light into people's eyes during class. Another time I refused to line up to go to the bathroom (no reason, just testing out the limits of my power, I suppose.) The teacher grabbed me by my hair and dragged me over desks and chairs and shoved me into the line.

-When I liked a boy, I would show it by annoying him. In fourth grade, there was a cute boy who sat in front of me who I continually bonked on the head with a pencil. He probably has brain damage to this day from my loving attention.

-Started getting teased and picked on a lot at school in about 4th grade.

-Started developing sexually and became extremely interested in sexual matters. 'Doing it' was a frequent topic of conversation with the few friends I had left. I would also steal dirty magazines from my dad's room. It was about this time that my Barbie and Ken embarked on a sexual relationship.

-Stole money from my parents. I spent all of my dad's Indian head nickel collection at the ice cream truck, and I used to take money from my mother's purse a lot. I told myself that it wasn't stealing as long as I only took change, not bills. I robbed the woman BLIND, I tell you, a handful of quarters at a time.

On to Part II

0 felt the need to share

Previous - Next
Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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