Only the first day of school, and already so much bitching to do!

By the second hour of drawing class, I had decided that I hated the teacher. Hated. Her. Hatehatehatehatehate. She made me draw with my non-dominant hand. For ninety minutes. And any time I moved my pencil any faster than a slug�s crawl, she�d come by and yell �That�s too fast! Your pencil should barely be moving!�

What was the fascinating object that I was drawing so intently? My other hand. Except that it didn�t look a thing like my other hand, because I was not supposed to look at my paper nor lift up my pencil. And she wanted detail. And more detail! And still MORE detail! And then I got yelled at because even though my picture looked nothing like a hand, it still looked too much like a hand for this exercise; and if it bore even a vague, accidental resemblance to something that might be able to be interpreted as a hand if a person on acid looked at it with their eyes squinted just right, then it follows that I must be an evil, non-direction-following paper-peeker. Oh, the shame!

I guess it�s a common exercise in drawing classes and it�s supposed to do something to wake up your right brain, or whatever. But criminy... NINETY MINUTES of basically scribbling a piece of crap in ultra-slow motion? If she wanted to torture me, she could have just jammed the pencil into my eye. It would have been kinder, and saved us both eighty-nine-and-a-half minutes. Actually, she may be considering it, as I don�t think she liked me very much. Possibly because I rolled my eyes right to her face when she made me re-draw my hand for the third time. Me and my impulse control problems.

I probably wouldn�t still be pissed about it if she hadn�t assigned us to do an 18x24 drawing at home over the weekend, again using the non-dominant hand. Why am I paying money to take this class when I can scribble stupid ugly crap all on my own for free?

My afternoon class went slightly better. I like the teacher already. She has a very direct no-nonsense manner, a sense of humor and she warned us that she has a tendency to swear. My kind of woman! She also informed us she starts the class promptly at noon, which makes me want to dance her around and give her a great big Bugs-Bunny-style smackaroo right on the mouth, with tongue even. One of my hugest pet school-related peeves is teachers who hold up the rest of the class waiting for late students to come moseying in. If I have enough respect for you to be on time for every class, why the hell would you make me wait around for those who can�t be bothered? That is just plain rude. And it especially pisses me off because many of the teachers will let the class out early if we get done for the day. So the later we get started, the later I wind up having to stay! Anyway, this teacher is having none of that nonsense�the stragglers can go suck eggs for all she cares, which is as it should be.

We do have a hijacker in this class, though�one of those aggravating people who feels some unreasoning compulsion to engage the teacher in lengthy, pointless conversation while the rest of us sit there bored and fuming, wanting to wrap things up and get the hell out of there already. Motherfucker made me miss the early bus by about 2 minutes today, which meant I had to wait over an hour to catch the next one. Which makes the Three Musketeers bar I ate while I was waiting also technically his fault. I hate him now. I can already tell he�s going to be one of those people who, whenever the teacher asks if there are any questions before dismissing the class early, will ALWAYS have some inane query requiring a minimum of 15 minutes of discussion. I�ve known the guy for less than two hours and it�s clear that not only is he quite impressed with himself, he also likes to make things more complicated than they have to be and he�s desperately in love with the sound of his own voice. Did I mention that I hate him?

Other random things I�d like to bitch about:

My bus this morning was standing room only, which ain�t gonna fly with all the shit I have to carry back and forth.

My books cost $160 instead of the $100 I was expecting. And I didn�t buy the �optional� book for my process color class because it cost $55 used. But I�m almost counting on having to buy it anyway... the teacher for that class is Ramblin� Man (of Paper class fame) and I suspect he�s the kind of prick who will take half the test questions right out of that book, just because he can.

Ramblin� Man deserves a separate bitch-entry all to himself, just for being such an especially aggravating human being. I did not want to take this class from him, and when I signed up he was not listed in the schedule as being the teacher for this class. I hate his teaching style and I do not look forward to the four shitloads of homework I know he�s going to bog us down with every week. Nor do I look forward to arguing with him about whether or not he actually gave the class the crucial piece of information that nobody got right on the test; nor arguing with him about what I call a mistake and he calls semantics, when I�m pretty damn sure he couldn�t give the correct definition of semantics if you held a loaded shotgun to his fly.

They raised the price of bottled water and soda in the vending machines from an already exhorbitant $1.10 to an absolutely ridiculous $1.25. I�d bring some from home, but that�s just one more fucking thing I�d have to carry.

I look like death under the lights in the school bathroom, which I guess is the same lighting as everywhere else in the school. My face looks paler, puffier and fatter than it does in the mirror at home, and no matter how I fix my hair it looks scraggly and mouse-colored. Being surrounded by skinny nineteen-year-old Asian chicks in low-rider jeans and crop tops all day is bad enough without looking in the mirror and seeing a pasty-faced, stringy-haired hag looking back at me. I�ve tried using make-up...but under these lights it just makes me look like the grotesque, unhappy spawn of an unnatural relationship between Uncle Fester and Cousin It.

Hmmm, maybe I should try to think of some good stuff to offset all this negativity:

I earned four exercise points walking to and from the bus stop and around campus.

I already have most of the supplies for my art class, as well as the zip disks and graphic arts ruler for the computer class, saving many dollars.

The jeans I am wearing are identical to the ones I wore all spring quarter, except they are a size smaller and I am ten pounds lighter.

I don�t have to go in to school tomorrow until around noon... and the bus should be way less crowded then.

Every weekend is a three-day weekend this quarter.

There, how�s that for ending on a bright note?

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Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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