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Olive olives, but they don't love me

2004-04-29 - 10:24 p.m.

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I think I finally figured out what was causing the ugly zit-like tummy rash... it was the olives!

I discovered Whole Foods Market's olive bar earlier this year, and went nuts on it. I've loved olives ever since I was a wee lass, both the black ones that come in cans and the green ones with the little red pimento tongues that come in jars. I could eat a can or jar all by myself, when I think to buy them. But I never did buy them all that often since they're kind of high in fat.

Plus, over the past couple years I seem to have developed an intolerance to salt. I've always been an over-salter, but lately if I eat salty food my mouth feels uncomfortably dry and parched afterwords. And olives are all about salt.

So I thought maybe Whole Foods olives might be less salty than the canned variety, which turned out not to be true in the least but they DID turn out to be tastier and more delectable in the extreme. Crispy, crunchy, tart and salty, green and black and kalamata and little mushy nicoise olives, they were just so damn GOOD that I was buying a pound or two at a time and then eating them by the handful.

You'd think the weird metallic taste in my mouth every morning would have clued me in that I was overdoing the before-bed olive snacking, but no. Then the ugly tummy rash started, and I chalked it up to vitamins without even thinking about the fact that I'd had kind of a significant change in my diet what with all the olive-snarfing.

At one point, the rash started to clear up and I pointed the finger of blame at a vitamin I'd recently quit... and it never occurred to me that I'd run out of olives at just about the same time.

I don't know what made it click, other than wracking my brain looking for a pattern. But within a couple of days of replenishing my olive supply, I started breaking out worse than ever.

The culprit is not so much the olives themselves... it's the damn salt they're cured in. LOADED with fucking iodine which is infamous for causing an acne-like skin condition. That plus the fact I've recently started using sea salt (another iodine-rich food) I think was overloading my system with iodine.

Been off the shit for a couple of days and things are coming along nicely. Except my stomach looks like a road map of a war zone, and dry and flaky from all the witch hazel to boot. I find myself sitting at my desk with my hand down my pants, itching my belly like a pregnant woman. So terribly attractive, I am.

I knew you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight unless I shared all that... and now look, you're all zzzzzzz'd out on the keyboard from the sheer boredom. You can thank me in the morning.



�Carumba!
Stop All The World Now, Howie Day. Fucking fabulous, loving this extremely much.
Serenity


2 felt the need to share

Previous - Next

Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27





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