Mmmmmmm... cold pineapple/green-pepper pizza for breakfast. Accompanied by a Mike's Hard Lemonade, and two Excedrin Migraine to ward off the mother of all headaches that will be waiting in the wings to attack me later due to the lack of caffeine in my otherwise balanced breakfast. Yeah, I'm on a health kick, how could you tell?

What I'd really like to wash down my pizza is a nice hot cup of the very flavorful and expensive costa-rican-something-or-other coffee I've been pining after for months after Whole Foods Market stopped carrying it. I nearly peed myself with excitement last week when I discovered they had finally gotten it back. I paid $20 for a 2 pound bag and rushed home to make myself a nice steaming pot only to discover that my nearly-new coffee maker has suddenly, inexplicably shit itself. Story of my life. And it galls me to pay good money for a new one when the "old" one has only been with us for maybe 2 months tops, and hasn't been used all that much to boot. I'm sure I'll feel better about spending the money to replace it if I let it age awhile in its broken state.

Ok, as you can see I got nothing to talk about. I'm sure I could ramble on at length about nothing, or come up with a random jumble of somethings, but the truth is I have many many many things I need to accomplish this weekend and spending hours sitting here tapping out the inane details of my life does nothing to further that pursuit.

The Reader's Digest recap of my week, for posterity:

I got an A on my stupid project. I believe it was a gift, but I'll take it. I haven't gotten the other one back yet, but I thought it was better than this one, so I probably got an A on it too. Or not.

I've started my final projects for my classes. I'm trying to keep them fairly simple, and so far they are only kicking my ass a little. Damn non-English-speaking Photoshop teachers to hell! I'd be doing fine if I didn't have to try to pull Photoshop knowledge I don't possess out of my ass for these projects.

I am too fat for all my summer clothes from last year, and this pisses me off to no end. I do not understand why I can't seem to get this weight thing under control, when it is one of my deepest heart's desires to be thin and pretty. I've changed other things in my life, learned new skills I've integrated to the point that they've become second nature... what is the fucking problem with changing my eating and exercising habits? This is a mystery I aim to solve and fix, dammit. Because I'm really, really unhappy with my physical appearance these days.

I've discovered I'm about one pair of pants short of being able to make it an entire work week between laundry days. Not wanting to spend another $40 on a pair of Lane Bryant pants in a size I don't want to admit I might be wearing for a long time, I decided to pick up a pair of black legging-type pants for $12 at Fashion Bug. Paired with a black t-shirt and some sort of over-blouse, it makes a reasonably acceptable work outfit. Except that on the day I went to wear it, I discovered that my favorite black t-shirt was dirty, and the only over-blouse that matches was too small. It's brand-fucking-new, I'm SURE it must have shrunk but of course my ever-vigilant conscience is whispering "yeah, sure..."

So I wore a black t-shirt that is just a tad too short, with these legging-type pants that, while they are not skintight like tights they do cling a little, and no over-blouse, because I was in a hurry and had absolutely nothing else clean; and while I thought I looked reasonably acceptable in the badly-lit mirror at home, I got a good look at myself in the bathroom mirror at work and nearly gagged at seeing my fat ass and stomach hanging out from under my t-shirt in those stupid stretch pants. Seems I need to go shopping yet again, and it just pisses me off.

But I gotta have one more pair of pants for work so I never have to show up in that gaggety stretch-knit get-up ever again; and without having summer clothes I can sausage my fat self into, I also have nothing to wear on the weekends so I also have to get off a little more cash for some summery stuff. And I resent spending the money because at this size, nothing I buy is going to make me look cute... basically, I'm just trying to find something that will make me look a little less trashy and sad than the worn-out sweatpants and t-shirts I'd otherwise be stuck in.

Ok, well, the shitload of stuff I wanted to get accomplished is laughing at me while I tippy-tap all my fat-related pain into this little square Diaryland box, so I guess I better get my big fat ass in gear.

5 felt the need to share

Previous - Next
Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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