Newest - Older - From Before - About - Cast - Rings - E-Mail Me - Guestbook - Notes



Well, shit

2004-10-13 - 9:34 a.m.

Disclaimer

When I am the boss of the world, I am making a new rule:

Anyone who doesn�t clean up after their dog when it takes a big steaming dump in a public place will be snatched up roughly by the scruff of the neck and have their face shoved repeatedly into the mess while having the words �NO! NO, GODDAMMIT, NO!!!!� screamed at them over and over in an angry, threatening voice. Repeat offenders will also be soundly beaten with a slipper.

Euthanasia will not be out of the question for the particularly thick-headed.

As you might well imagine, I was not amused to find that somehow the Evil Childe had tracked some particularly fragrant dogshit all over the dining room carpet. Especially not when I found it at 7:15 this morning when we were supposed to have left for work and school five minutes ago.

Of all the possible minor crises in the world, the one in particular I do not need is more animal shit in my house. Not only for the offense to the human olfactory system, though that was considerable, but also for the simple reason I do not need 10 more spots on the carpet for the cats to discover and think, �Hey, this smells like shit! Must be a toilet!� (Incidentally, it is a huge mystery to me how the cats want to pee anyplace in the apartment they can find that smells like shit or piss, but they are offended by a dirty litter box. Smells like piss and shit GALORE in there. So what the fuck is the problem?)

Anyway, I scrubbed up the nasty mess as best I could in the scant ten minutes I could spare, using pet stain carpet cleaner followed by a generous blub-blub of enzyme cleaner for each spot. Hopefully that will suffice until I have time to get out the carpet steamer and go to town. That might just have to go on the agenda for tonight.

Meanwhile, the real question is, how did my child get into the house wearing those shoes last night without leaving a shit trail? The trail appeared right after she put her shoes on this morning. It originated in the middle of the fucking living room as far as I could tell, and faded away by the bathroom door. Did a dog break in and crap on the bottom of her shoe during the night?








2 felt the need to share

Previous - Next

Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27





The WeatherPixie

Designed by So-Charming.
Technical assistance provided by The Prince.

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!