I now have a large, bloody hole in my head where a hurty tooth used to be.

I was all set to be cool about the tooth thing. Originally I planned to go in on a weekday morning and then go into work afterwards. Co-workers thought not a good idea... might not be too easy answering the phone with a wad of gauze in me mug, they said. Plus they gently suggested I might not be feeling so hot post-"having tooth ripped out by the roots." Fair 'nuff. I rescheduled for a Saturday, although I wasn't too keen about doing the suffering on my OWN time. Hmmph.

Then I was just gonna drive up there my own self this morning since I wasn't planning on being sedated, but my darling Prince thought maybe I might not be feeling so swell when I was done and he volunteered to drive me. I was damn glad to have him along, as it turns out. I was nervous as shit. I've never had a tooth out before, and although the reading-up I did on it made it sound like no biggie, I still didn't like the idea much, so it was very comforting having a big strong man to cling to.

I also have these two little problem when I get nervous... my mouth gets very dry, and I have to pee. A LOT. So my dilemma is, do I drink water and have to pee even more, or do I not drink water and have cotton mouth so bad I can't swallow? I tried to compromise by taking tiny sips, but that was plenty enough for me to have to go pee FIVE times in the forty-five minutes we were in the dentist's office before the extraction got underway. How freaking embarrassing... I even had to ask the doc to let me get out of the chair to go pee after he gave me the novocaine shot!

Thank goodness these people were nice, and very understanding about my pussy-ass histrionic bladder spasms.

The next humiliating freak-out came when the Lovely Assistant left me alone in the room while she went to develop my x-rays. The doctor came in and grabbed what looked to be velcro restraints and headed back to another patient's room.

What? Do they tie your hands down for this???? ARGGGGGGGGH! I begin looking about frantically for the exit...

Lovely Assistant comes back, and fighting back panic I tried to sound casual as I asked, "Um, I was just wondering... I just noticed the doc has what appears to be wrist restraints in here. Are my hands going to be tied down for this? Because if they are, I'm... uh, going to have to have a Valium or something." I smiled weakly.

She laughed as she explained that those were for patients who were being given IV sedation. By this time, I had begun to wish I'd thought to ask for that.

So we finally got me all peed out, and numbed up, and settled in the chair. Lovely Assistant had calmed me some with her chatter, and had promised me that the novacaine shot would probably be the worst part of the whole thing. But I did panic a little when he unexpectedly popped a rubber thing in my mouth to prop it open. Had to make him take it out for a second so I could swallow one more time before I was able to relax enough to deal with it. I just can't imagine the amount of patience it must take for dental people to work on pussies like me.

The novacaine shot did hurt a fair bit, but it was far from the worst part. The extraction was worse than I expected... there was a lot of pressure and the cracking sounds of the tooth breaking up were kind of horrifying, really. Plus it didn't feel like I was quite as numb as I should have been. It didn't hurt MUCH, but I kept worrying if it would get worse as we went along.

But it was over fairly quickly, maybe ten minutes or so, and they stuck a wad of gauze into the hole and told me to bite down and keep it there for 45 minutes. Which sounds like no big deal, right? Except that by the time we got down to the car it was sopping wet with saliva, and having to keep my mouth closed around a big wad of drippy wet gauze was gagging me severely. The Prince was just a tad freaked out by all the retching. I finally resorted to holding the gauze in with my finger so I could keep my mouth open, and then the saliva ran down my arm. Charming. But at least I was able to hold back on the gagging sounds for the most part.

The doctor had mentioned pain meds before we got started, and I asked him if I could get something good. "Sure! What do you like?" He was so casual about it I was a little taken aback. I told him I didn't have much experience with pain meds, so he just wrote the scrip for hydroc@done. And I have to say, I don't see what the big deal is about it... it's pretty popular as a street drug, but even taking twice as much as I was supposed to didn't do much for me in the way of a buzz. Made me a little relaxed and sleepy, is all. I'd have gotten a better buzz off a beer. Didn't even do all that much for the pain, nor for the fucking stubborn-ass headache I'd had since I woke up this morning.

Four ibuprofen did a better job on the headache and the tooth pain than the prescribed stuff. So I'm not in a lot of pain right now but I'm still taking it easy as recommended.

The thing that gets me about all of this dentist stuff, is that none of it, not even the fairly major stuff, has been near as horrible as I always imagined just the drilling and fillings would be. And the routine maintenance stuff that would have avoided all of this is cake. I am just incredulous that I was willing to let things deteriorate to the point where I needed fairly major, uncomfortable work done because I was worried about having to get fillings. It's like there was a complete disconnect with reality there. Very very weird.

You can damn betcha I'm gonna be johnny-on-the-spot with the fucking 6 month check-ups and stuff from now on. You know, after I'm all done with the next two months of weekly appointments to get my mouth into decent shape.*

Oh, and one piece of good news in all this... my Prince went out and found himself a REAL job to replace the contract that was supposed to end at the end of October. And the job has benefits which almost certainly includes dental coverage, and wooooo-fucking-hooooo-hoooo-hooooo, it's teeth for everybody here at Hillbilly Hell!

We're all gonna look so purty.

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Previous - Next
Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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