Kind of an aggravating day today. My mouth is healing, but slowly. The residual pain and irritation is a huge improvement over how I've been feeling, but the whole mess is getting pretty tiresome. I am extremely sick of having to think about my damn teeth all the time. I miss taking them for granted! (Though not to the point I would ever neglect them again... I have learned that lesson well.) I also miss being able to eat decent food like salad, veggies and chicken without paying for it with hours of pain.

Plus, I've gained four pounds in the past month. I guess a diet consisting largely of Cuppa Noodles, Spaghetti O's, pudding and Cream of Wheat will do that to a person with carb issues. Ya think? I'd really like to get back to normal so I can get the diet and working out underway again.

Today was also the first appointment with the therapist, and I'm not sure if I like how it went or not. He was personable enough, but I'm not sure if he "gets" me. And I kept getting the feeling that he doesn't want to listen to me ramble, it seemed like he wanted me to be fairly brief. In answer to the first couple of questions he asked, I did ramble a little bit and right after that he said "Tell me a little about your childhood. In a sentence or two." Um... I don't especially want to delve deeply into my childhood or anything, but shouldn't a psychologist want some solid background info to help give him an idea of what my deeper issues might be?

I told him what I wanted out of therapy... basically I'd like to work on sorting out my emotional issues, get some ideas and support on being a more effective parent, and to use the therapist as a person to check in with periodically once I get on track with goals and life-organization plans to make sure I keep them on track. (The getting there is only a small part of the battle. I don't have as much trouble making changes as I do maintaining them.) And I need this to be ongoing for awhile... I'm thinking at least a year or two, though as time goes on I hope I'll be able to get by with checking in less frequently. I'm thinking weekly at first, then gradually tapering off until I only check in once every couple of months.

He seemed to think this was an "experiment" worth trying, but naturally there is a problem: one, his usual method of treatment is to contract for 6-8 sessions, which makes me feel like if I make good progress in that time, he's going to declare me "all better" and not see my need for ongoing support. But the second thing is, he's leaving this office for another job sometime around the end of the year. So if I wanted to continue, I'd have to switch to another therapist in the office at that time anyway.

Which I'm thinking might not be a bad thing. To be honest, I'm planning for a lot of my "treatment" to be self-directed anyway with the therapist serving as support, a sounding board and a source of ideas to get me unstuck occasionally. So I don't think it's as crucial that I have the same person on an ongoing basis like it would be if we were going to really deeply analyze me. So I guess I'm going to go ahead and do the six or so visits and then go from there.

Still, I would have been happier if I'd have found a therapist with whom I really clicked and could count on for the long term.

Then on my way home, I got rear-ended. It was a low-speed collision so thankfully there was no damage to the car, but I wrenched my neck in the same goddamn place I always wrench it when some idiot hits me. Which means I can pretty much count on headaches and neckaches flaring up for awhile. Which I SO need. Not.

Then, as I'm recounting all this to the Prince he informs me that we needed to clean the apartment tonight because the kid got a phone call informing her she is getting visited here on Wednesday by a prosecutor or defender or some shit as a witness for a court case involving a fight between her ex-boyfriend and another guy. Which I SO felt like doing tonight. Again... not.

The Prince cleaned up the kitchen and the litterboxes this evening, but the tranquilizer I took to relax my neck muscles knocked me right out and I fell asleep on the couch for several hours without getting anything done.

So I'll be doing a quick cleaning of the living-dining room area in the morning before work, but right now I'm up doing laundry at 1:30 a.m. on a work night because I had to rewash a load of my clothes that accidentally got sent through the dryer with a lip balm that was in the pocket of my jeans, and because we don't have a SINGLE FUCKING CLEAN TOWEL anywhere in the house because the Evil Childe steals them and then leaves them to rot in a damp pile on her filthy bedroom floor. Because it's not HER problem if no one else can take a shower before work, you see. Nice attitude.

Anyway... Piss. Moan. Bitch. Whine. Nothing major, knock wood. Just one of those days I guess.

5 felt the need to share

Previous - Next
Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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