You know, it's not like I couldn't live about 2 years on stored body fat alone... so why the hell do I still have to feel hungry if my body has all the energy it needs? Hmmmm?

So I'm dumb. I went for a physical the other day and was ordered to get a mammogram and some blood work done, which I expected because it's been about 3 years since I've had the blood stuff and I've never had a mammogram. The doctor said I could get both done at the same facility, no appointment needed for the blood work but they'd have to schedule the mam.

Well, I called to schedule and they can't get me in for the mam until the 30th, and somehow it got stuck in my head that I couldn't get the bloodwork done until then either. Then it occurred to me that maybe I could take off work one morning next week for the blood. Not til this morning did it occur to me that DUH, I don't HAVE to go to the official Women's Boobie-Squish Center for my bloodwork, I could go right over to the urgent care in the next town, which I know all too well is open on Saturdays because I've had to take the Evil Clumsy Childe there four times in the last few months.

So I got up bright and early, scrubbed up the pits, tits and twat, and changed my underwear but not my socks. Because I am gross like that sometimes. Though if it had been a gyne appointment I'd have changed the socks too, because my feet would be right there all hiked up next to my ass, right next to the poor doctor's face, and I worry enough that he might find my ass unfresh (in spite of my having soaped up twice in the shower,) without adding the horror of potentially stinky feet into the bouquet. But the blood tech will be standing a safe distance from both feet and assal areas, so it was easier to just wear yesterday's socks since they were conveniently already on my feet, seeing as how I slept in them and all.

Anyhoo.

I was all ready to walk out the door when, just like in the movies, I heard a distant echo of the doctor's voice in my head:

"...a fasting blood test-est-est..."

"...12 hours... no food-ood-ood..."

Crap. Last night we stayed out late at Borders (because we were born to be wild) and when I got home around midnight I snarfed up a big bowl of cereal into my face.

But I want to get that damn blood test done and out of the way TODAY, now that it's stuck in my craw and all. So I'm fasting until one o'clock and possibly well beyond if I have to wait long to get my test. And every couple of minutes my ass starts to lift out of the chair of its own free will, to make the familiar trek to the kitchen for some sustenance. Oh, for an olive, or a dry crust of pizza! Perhaps dipped into a vat of garlic butter...

It shouldn't be this hard. It's not like I've never gone most of the day without eating (not that you'd ever dream by looking at me that I was capable of going more than fifteen minutes without popping a bon-bon,) but usually I only do that when I'm too busy cleaning to want to stop and eat.

Quite coincidentally, cleaning is kind of what I had on my agenda today. So naturally I got up and went to Whole Foods Market instead, to torture myself with the free samples lying around everywhere.

But, I guess the housework is worth a shot. Can't hurt anyway, least that's what I'm told.

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Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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