I guess I was a little more cryptic than I meant to be yesterday.

I don't have a drinking problem, other than occasionally running out of beer at inopportune moments.

It's just that my life is such a mess right now. And I almost wish it were the fault of an addiction... at least the solution to the problem would be obvious and fairly simple, at least in theory. Quit drinking, things get all better.

There's nothing so clear cut with me right now. There is no solution for anything that doesn't suck, no one thing I could stop doing that would make everything else fall into line.

I hate where we live. We have too much stuff, too many cats, and too many people all trying to be crammed into this too-small space. Too much to do crammed into too little time and way too little energy. Too many needs and wants all in conflict with each other, all fighting for time and energy and money that has already long been spoken for.

I seem to have developed the opposite of agoraphobia. Some people are afraid to leave their homes; at the end of the day, I dread returning to mine.

Lately even when I try to be grown up, responsible and to do the right thing, there always seems to be some fly in the ointment. Some little or big or humongus unplanned consequence or side-effect to cause aggravation.

Every solution has a problem, and I am sick to death of problems. Maybe a drinking problem is the solution? I think I'll get right on that.

6 felt the need to share

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Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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