Back to Main Diary Page 2006-05-08 - Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have 2006-04-09 - Live from the dump 2006-03-29 - Kind of like a muzzle for your brain 2006-03-28 - ...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl 2006-03-27 - Playing catch-up 2005-07-30 - Oozing Invidiousity 2005-07-01 - Musical Therapists 2005-06-17 - Observations of a wandering mind 2005-06-12 - Life in the big city 2005-06-10 - Don't look down 2005-06-09 - Handy hints for sales people 2005-05-12 - Pour me another Tequila, Sheila. (And take off that red satin dress...) 2005-05-11 - Pthhhhhhhhhht 2005-04-13 - Good news! 2005-04-11 - The hooter report 2005-04-10 - Stuff and nonsense 2005-04-02 - Mental flotsam, jetsam 2005-03-25 - The Saga of the Titty 2005-03-24 - The Saga of the Bed 2005-03-22 - Gross, huh? 2005-03-17 - Dirty socks 2005-03-15 - This is not an entry 2005-03-25 - Choke me in the shallow water... 2005-02-08 - Howzat again? 2005-01-15 - I'm so proud (*sniffle*) 2004-12-27 - Christmas cheer 2004-12-11 - I got the Grumbellies, bad 2004-12-04 - Don't worry, be happy! We're safe from the MUSLIM terrorists anyway. Right? 2004-12-02 - Fun with Dad's wiener 2004-12-01 - What I Did Over Thanksgiving Vacation 2004-11-17 - Bunch of nothing, really 2004-11-09 - Good riddance! 2004-11-09 - It's three a.m., I must be wide fucking awake 2004-11-05 - To Ibe and Moth... 2004-11-04 - Attitude adjustment... a work in progress 2004-11-04 - Picking up, dusting off, moving on 2004-11-03 - Way to go, Ohio (et al) 2004-11-02 - Yeah, I'm sure this is all on the up and up 2004-10-31 - Have you seen this? 2004-10-29 - A hangover does not bode well for tomorrow's To Do list, either 2004-10-28 - Bastard free email motherfucker 2004-10-26 - Sperm and eggs, over easy. 2004-10-24 - Party like a rock star! A really fucking twisted rock star, minus the booze and drugs and groupies and smashed-up hotel rooms and... maybe this isn't a very good analogy after all. Never mind. 2004-10-22 - If nobody wants to play with you, you have to just play with yourself 2004-10-22 - I am so mature... you should see how big my boobs look in that corset 2004-10-21 - Nasty hairy little pussies 2004-10-20 - Crappy day 2004-10-16 - "Try to keep your tongue away from the hole." 2004-10-16 - To continue from the Reasons and excuses entry� 2004-10-14 - The Snoozefest...er, Debate 2004-10-14 - Excuses and reasons and screw-ups, oh my 2004-10-13 - Disclaimer 2004-10-13 - Well, shit 2004-10-12 - The Fidelity Issues Entry From Hell 2004-10-11 - It's a diary. It's SUPPOSED to be introspective. 2004-10-11 - Sad 2004-10-09 - Late Night Ramble (or, Coherence is for Pussies) 2004-10-06 - You're supposed to HONK if you love Jesus, moron 2004-10-05 - Weird 2004-10-02 - Musings on self-sabotage 2004-09-29 - Remember that scene in Castaway? With Tom Hanks, the rock and the ice skate? Yeah, I get it now. 2004-09-26 - Just some fart-bubbles in the bathtub of my brain 2004-09-21 - Dental appointment in hell 2004-09-20 - The goats... bring me the goats! 2004-09-18 - How shitty of me 2004-09-13 - Snarkfully yours 2004-09-09 - Well, that good mood was rather short-lived 2004-09-09 - Sometimes, it's the little things 2004-08-30 - Recipes... by request 2004-08-29 - It's midnight, and I want another mushroom 2004-08-25 - It's remarkable how little it takes to ruin a mail carrier's entire day 2004-08-21 - The never-ending entry 2004-08-15 - I cannot even tell you how relieved I am 2004-08-14 - - 2004-08-11 - When the diet is going well, a young woman�s fancy turns to� FASHION. 2004-07-29 - Ow 2004-07-29 - Little bits of crap that were floating around in my head 2004-07-28 - Criminy, I'm gonna be late for work 2004-07-24 - The weekend ramble 2004-07-23 - It's aggervatin', I tell ya 2004-07-14 - How bizarre 2004-07-10 - Faskinatin', ain't it? 2004-07-08 - Calling All South Beach Babies 2004-07-04 - This entry starts out innocently enough... 2004-07-02 - Bitch, moan, gripe, complain... oh, look! A bunny! 2004-06-25 - I shouldn't be this excited about this, but... 2004-06-23 - My lame attempt at a stolen a quiz 2004-06-23 - Information, please? 2004-06-21 - Wow, socializing really CAN be fun. Who knew? 2004-06-18 - How's that taste, buddy? 2004-06-18 - Boredom sets in 2004-06-16 - Shut up and read 2004-06-15 - We interrupt this hiatus briefly to say.... 2004-06-15 - Somebody needs a time-out 2004-06-10 - Bitchy and dumb are really sexy qualities in a girl, right? 2004-05-29 - Finally, some time off. Snort. 2004-05-22 - Whatever and more whatever 2004-05-16 - Ranting at midnight 2004-05-11 - Don't even bother 2004-05-09 - The catch-up entry... brought to you by Heinz 2004-04-30 - Brain Salad 2004-04-29 - Olive olives, but they don't love me 2004-04-28 - Too tired to think up a title 2004-04-28 - Un-fucking-believable 2004-04-27 - A funny for ya 2004-04-25 - Retail therapy 2004-04-21 - An update... such as it is 2004-04-17 - I am Demeter's little bitch goddess whore 2004-04-14 - Maybe I should call him "The Saint" instead 2004-04-12 - Workout tips from your Auntie Ame 2004-04-08 - I smell pretty, oh so pretty... 2004-04-06 - Back to the grind 2004-04-03 - Better than espresso for getting the old heart a-thumpin' 2004-04-02 - Back open for business 2004-04-02 - I'm too sexy for my panties 2004-04-01 - Little Miss Sunshine 2004-03-31 - Why I gotta think up a title every time I do this thing? 2004-03-27 - Damn cats 2004-03-26 - Here we go a-fucking-gain 2004-03-24 - Call me a health nut 2004-03-24 - Midnight ramblings 2004-03-23 - Can't sleep, might as well bitch 2004-03-21 - Happy happy, joy joy 2004-03-20 - Phone pests I could do without, and other miscellaneous ramblings 2004-03-16 - Prove my point, why don't ya? 2004-03-12 - Maybe those Muslim chicks are on to something 2004-03-08 - First day recap 2004-03-06 - Shopping... the final frontier 2004-03-05 - Bright eyed and bushy tailed... and not in a good way 2004-03-04 - Like you care.... much head-sorting-out job-related rambling 2004-03-03 - In case you were wondering 2004-02-21 - Two Social Retards want to know... 2004-02-19 - Poop, says I 2004-02-15 - Mom on warpath 2004-02-14 - A Purloined Booklist 2004-02-13 - Man, I feel like I�ve been hit by a truck 2004-02-05 - Lotsa words, delivered fresh to your browser 2004-02-03 - For a change of pace, how about I bitch about something other than our employment situation? 2004-02-02 - A whole bunch of negativity that I probably shouldn't be inflicting on my adoring public but oh, well. Here it is anyway. 2004-01-31 - Because I don't FEEL like writing a real entry, that's why 2004-01-29 - An all too short grumble and a lengthy quiz-like thing 2004-01-25 - The 39th Annual Gloomy Pre-Birthday Ramble 2004-01-22 - My nipples are hard. What do you expect, it's three degrees and I'm too cheap to turn on the heat! 2004-01-21 - Encouraging news 2004-01-20 - We could always eat one of the horses 2004-01-19 - Rantings of a terrible mother 2004-01-18 - Living on the edge 2004-01-15 - Pictures do not lie. Pictures suck. (And don't even ask... you know what you were going to ask, and don't even go there.) 2004-01-08 - A fascinating rundown of my cleaning plans, and a reasonable facsimile of my face 2004-01-05 - Much miscellaneous musing 2003-12-30 - Day Three... oh, the excitement! 2003-12-29 - Day Two 2003-12-28 - Home Alone 2003-12-19 - Never a dull moment 2003-12-16 - Catching up, and a quiz 2003-12-14 - Thoughts upon hearing of the capture of Saddam 2003-12-08 - Stuff and nonsense 2003-12-02 - Because it's so much more subtle this way 2003-11-30 - Crossing fingers, toes and hair 2003-11-27 - Yeah, I'm such a rebel 2003-11-23 - Diarrhea of the brain 2003-11-21 - What's a girl gotta do to get herself sent away for a little "rest"? 2003-11-06 - Five days with no update... and THIS is all I have to offer??? 2003-10-30 - S.H.I.T. 2003-10-24 - Is Mars in retrograde or something? 10-21-03 - And in the "As if my life didn't suck enough" category... 2003-10-19 - I'm going, I'm going 2003-10-19 - All right... I�ve got a whole lot of nothing to say here, is what I�ve got. 2003-10-17 - A public service announcement 2003-10-12 - Art, art, let a fart... 2003-10-09 - I believe I'll start with a refreshing nap 2003-10-08 - Yes, I've done a little modeling 2003-10-07 - Quick! Somebody stuff a sock in my... uh... fingers 2003-10-06 - Responsibility beckons... I shrink back in horror 2003-10-04 - A quiz--lifted from Lady Malfoy 2003-10-04 - Long week, frustration high, motivation low 2003-09-28 - Now I'm off to do my homework... right after I check my email 2003-09-27 - You think my life is boring to read about? Try living it. 2003-09-26 - Insert generic entry title here, on account of I just don't feel like thinking one up 2003-09-22 - Bitch, bitch, bitch 2003-09-19 - Aw, man... is it fall quarter ALREADY? 2003-09-16 - You know who you are 2003-09-16 - Coupla things 2003-09-15 - Uh... hi there 2003-09-14 - Brokety-broke-broke 2003-09-10 - A tale of two evils... managed care, and sloth 2003-09-08 - Something stinks around here... oh, that would be me 2003-09-08 - Reviews 2003-09-08 - Links 2003-09-08 - The daily grind 2003-09-05 - Kid Stuff 2003-09-05 - Al Franken makes me wet... my pants. 2003-08-31 - So. An update. Yeah. 2003-08-23 - Hyenas in the mist 2003-08-20 - Home again, home again, jiggity jog 2003-08-14 - Off to visit the folks 2003-08-07 - Salivating all over my keyboard just can't be good for it 2003-08-07 - 101 things about me... give or take 70 or so 2003-08-07 - Diary of a Rotten Kid, Part II 2003-08-07 - Diary of a Rotten Kid, Part I 2003-08-06 - Skoooooooooo�s out for the summer! 2003-08-03 - Grossology 2003-08-01 - Just for fun... cuz I've got time to burn, baby 2003-07-31 - An entry for Sex and the Suburbs 2003-07-30 - My ass hurts 2003-07-25 - No, I'm not PMS'ing. Why do you ask? 2003-07-23 - Conservative, my twat 2003-07-17 - Nothing like a super-sized jolt of adrenaline to get the heart thumping in the morning. 2003-07-16 - A bakery story... for Kitchen Logic 2003-07-15 - Cwanky... vewwy cwanky 2003-07-15 - Channeling the family mutt? 2003-07-14 - It wasn't the short bus, I swear! 2003-07-11 - Dicked by the Dick 2003-07-11 - Screwed myself... and not in a good way. 2003-07-10 - Lecture on THIS, muthafucker 2003-07-08 - Short, sweet, dull 2003-07-08 - The boringest entry EVER 2003-07-06 - Well, that was just fucking beautiful 2003-07-04 - Pssst... hey baby, wanna see my psyche? 2003-07-03 - It�s not like I don�t have enough to bitch about right here in my own personal little sphere of life, but... 2003-07-02 - All�s well that ends well 2003-06-30 - Guestbook signing... in the Twilight Zone 2003-06-30 - You, too, could be a Playboy bunny... 2003-06-28 - A Quiz... 2003-06-27 - Gag... retch.... 2003-06-25 - Random stuff from this afternoon 2003-06-25 - Me, rambling. Avoiding housework. What else is new? 2003-06-21 - See what happens when y'all don't update? I get bored, you get a three-page entry about nothing 2003-06-20 - The enneagram diaryrings 2003-06-19 - My inner artist rebels against the capitalistic system... or something like that 2003-06-18 - Nothing to see here... 2003-06-18 - Much miscellaneous about school 2003-06-17 - Welcome to Summer Quarter, 2003 2003-06-16 - You might have noticed a few changes around here... 2003-06-15 - Shaving my pussy 2003-06-14 - The only reason some people are still alive is because it is against the law to kill them 2003-06-14 - Oh, couldn�t this just be OVER already? 2003-06-13 - Stalling 2003-06-13 - Cats blow... chunks, that is. 2003-06-12 - Show us your ass! 2003-06-07 - Rings 2003-06-06 - Whose turn is it to fuck the cat? 2003-06-06 - Whose turn is it to fuck the cat? 2003-06-06 - Couldn't we just fast-forward to NEXT Friday? 2003-06-05 - So I got a lot on my mind today 2003-06-05 - Like a deer caught in the headlights 2003-06-02 - Everything you never wanted to know about my week previous 2003-06-01 - Not a real entry 2003-05-26 - Another glorious day off! 2003-05-25 - My god... what�s that sound? 2003-05-16 - Let's see if I can do this without fucking up the link... 2003-05-14 - Cue the screeching violins... 2003-05-13 - GOOD girl! Here's a biscuit! 2003-05-12 - Hell, I didn't even hurt myself this time! 2003-05-12 - Work sucks! School rocks! Mostly. 2003-05-08 - Welcome to So-Charming�s Diary O� Complaints 2003-05-07 - Isn't there a better way of making a living than this? Like sucking donkey dicks, for instance? 2003-05-06 - I :heart: my attitude problem 2003-05-02 - Hell and farts 2003-04-30 - It's a pretty good day... 2003-04-30 - The loud sucking sound you hear would be my life 2003-04-29 - Work rant... what else? 2003-04-28 - Mmmmmm... poppers 2003-04-27 - WHO is the clumsiest individual on the planet? 2003-04-24 - I think I just got flirted with! 2003-04-21 - Just an outpouring of frustration 2003-04-16 - One of life's little mysteries... 2003-04-16 - Never mind that 2003-04-11 - Shit, piss, fucked 2003-04-06 - Wow, this sure took a long damn time 2003-04-05 - Our solar system� 2003-04-04 - You know it�s so not like me to be pissy, but� 2003-04-02 - Somewhat perkier than normal 2003-04-01 - Piss, moan 2003-03-31 - Oh, blech. 2003-03-29 - Here's 'The Plan' 2003-03-28 - I got felt out today 2003-03-27 - You will not be redirected in five seconds, so type in the goddamn address ya lazy fuck! 2003-03-23 - Virgin entry