I staggered from my bedroom bright and early this morning to discover that one of the cats had pooped on the living room floor... a long, hefty turd, lying alongside a foot-long hershey-streak on the carpet. Far be it from me to point the finger, but from the size of the log I�m pretty sure I know who it was (I�m looking at YOU, Fat Ass.)

In spite of making free with the peepee sometimes, these guys never do number 2 on the rug so I was baffled as to what might have precipitated this not-so-little indiscretion. The litterbox had just been changed last night, so that shouldn�t have been a factor. Muttering oaths darkly under my breath, I grabbed a wad of paper towels and picked up the log to throw it away.

It was rather a long specimen really, and looked as if it were meant to be three pieces instead of just the one. Then I noticed there was cat litter stuck to the underside of one end, which is odd because it was lying several yards from the box.

Piecing together the clues, we can imagine a charming scenario in which a very fat cat, in the throes of taking a midnight constitutional, became frightened when the giant loaf that was emerging from between his furry haunches refused to be pinched off. He bolted from the litterbox in a panic with the giant tootsie roll following right behind, finally managed to dislodge the offender in the middle of the living room floor, and finished up by using my carpet as toilet paper to scrape away the residue. What a special picture.

As if encountering giant kitty poo weren�t enough unpleasantness for 7 a.m., the next thing I noticed was that they (I�m sure it was a group effort) chewed a big hole in the brand-new cat food bag that was left on the living room floor last night, and then somebody (Luna!) barfed a big steaming pile of perfectly good mrrrow-mix right along side the bag. So I got to clean that mess up too. I picked up the worst of the pile in a wad of paper towels and as I walked it over to the trash can, Big Fat with a look of dismay went running over to the residue that remained and quickly ate up the remaining barf-crumbs while giving me a dirty look. I guess he must have been saving that for his breakfast. Was he waiting for it to cool off or something? I have no idea, but if ya snooze, ya lose, kiddo.

This is not a promising start to the day.

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Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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