I got a couple of comments on the state of the Evil One's bed, namely that it's naked; and I feel compelled to explain that I am no less horrified at the state of her bed than you, believe me. The few times I've had to sleep on my own bed without sheets (like when Lunamatuna-in-Heat decided to take a piss on my freshly made bed and it went undiscovered until the moment I went to sink my exhausted body into bed around 11. The sheets came off, afghans were substituted for blankets, and I spent the night twirled up in them so that my squeaky-clean skin didn't have to make contact with the naked mattress. Which is probably totally ridiculous, because if the mattress were gross why would I think that a few thin layers of cloth would protect me from the grody? But it just feels WRONG, somehow.)

But anyway, here's the scoop on how my child came to spend her nights on a lumpy bare mattress on the floor:

When she first came to live with us, she expressed the desire to get rid of her perfectly good metal bunk bed whose lower bunk folded up into a futon-covered couch. We said no; so then she managed to "accidentally" forget the hardware to reassemble the bed when they moved it up from Ohio. So for a few months she slept on the futon on the floor, as I was disinclined to shell out my money for a bed when she'd had a perfectly good one to start with. Losing the hardware may or may not have been an accident; however, the slight whiff of manipulation just pissed me off enough not to want to dance to that tune.

After a year or so we relented. We scraped a couple hundred bucks together and got her an inexpensive but servicable mattress and boxsprings and a plain metal bedframe. I went out and got her some cool-looking graffiti sheets, new pillows, and a comforter.

The sheets were the first to bite it. From age 13 to 15 she had this obsession with restyling her clothes by cutting them up, writing and painting on them, etc. Somehow she decided that cutting a few slashes in her brand-new sheets would be a good addition to her punk decor. Within days they had shredded into rags. Am I going to buy new sheets to replace what she destroyed? Why hell no.

So then... one day I walk into the room and notice that the corner of her mattress has a hole burned in it the size of my fist, and you can see inside the mattress. After reading her the riot act about fire, etc. my next reaction is oh, well. You fucked it up, you live with it.

So THEN... one day she has a few friends over, and they're fucking around in her room, bumping around, making noise, laughing. Then I hear a muffled crash and some screaming and laughing and when I go in to investigate, somehow all these kids had piled up on her bed and broke the wooden frame of the box spring. Am I going to replace this? Sorry, nope. We dragged the box spring out to the trash and put the mattress on the floor where it has been ever since.

She has asked for a new bed several times and I have declined, seeing as how she takes only marginally better care of her things now than she did at 13. For the last inspection I did break down and buy her some new bedding... mostly because I thought it would look bad to the apartment management to see a bare-assed stained mattress laying in the middle of the room. I went all out and got her new pillows, a comforter, nice sheets and an extra blanket, and made her bed up all nice and cozy for her.

It lasted a few weeks and then I never saw the sheets on the bed again.

If she doesn't want to sleep that way, all she has to do is wash the sheets and put 'em back on the mattress, so I guess she must like it how it is.

3 felt the need to share

Previous - Next
Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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