Remember way back on Wednesday when I was on a mission to find the source of the stench in our apartment?

Well, "mission" may have been too ambitious a word... what I actually did was sniff around a little bit with no success in finding the source of the offense, then I did up the few remaining dishes, took the trash out again, cooked supper and then took a nap before class.

Now, my house is usually a pig sty but not so much so that it smells like anything other than cat box... and even that usually doesn�t last too long because I can�t stand it and will bitch and whine until someone takes it bye-bye. Ditto smelly trash... paper trash may overflow onto the floor, but stinky trash has got to go NOW.

Obviously though, something nasty had eluded me and whatever it was was becoming riper by the day. I got up today determined to figure out what it was, even if I had to rip the place apart.

I searched out and washed every dirty dish in the house. I picked up all the miscellaneous plastic and paper shopping bags and trash out of the living room thinking maybe there were some fast food leftovers in there somewhere (there weren�t.) In the process I got the living room most of the way cleaned up, which was a huge side benefit but yielded no clues as to the stench. So on to the kitchen.

The smell was strongest out there, but strangely elusive. I wiped off countertops, pulled out the microwave and cleaned behind it, took out the trash yet again and washed out the trashcan with ammonia. I cleaned down inside the top of the stove in case something had dripped down in. I cleared off all the counters and wiped them down in case something smelly had leaked behind something. Still no luck... however, I DID notice it smelled stronger near the refrigerator...

So I began pulling stuff out of the fridge. Threw away a few things but nothing really gross. Fearfully, I pulled out the crisper drawer thinking maybe something had leaked into the bottom of the fridge and gone putrid, but no. I was stumped.

The Evil Childe�s bedroom door is right across from the kitchen, so even though I checked it out the other day and she�s been cleaning it, I decided to check it out again. It too, was innocent of the particular stench I was tracking down (not that it doesn�t smell kind of funky in its own right, but nothing that was leaking out into the rest of the apartment.) As I walked out of her room and closed the door behind me, I noticed that the smell was particularly strong. I was standing in front of the tiny utility closet that contains the water heater and where I store my mop and broom. Maybe something had gotten in there somehow?

As I leaned in to take a look, suddenly for the first time in days I actually noticed the grocery bag sitting there on the floor. When we had gotten groceries on Saturday the Evil Childe and I were both so tired I told her to just put away the perishable stuff and I�d take care of the canned stuff later. Over the past week I put away a couple of the remaining bags of canned stuff but I hadn�t gotten around to this one yet. Cautiously I peered inside... and there, in amongst the cans and jars and bottles, was one lone, forgotten roll of ground turkey. Once frozen, now pretty thoroughly thawed... and thoroughly rotten, with its plastic casing swollen to twice its normal size. Stinking like a motherfucker.

Retching, I picked up the bag, canned food and all, stuck it into the garbage bag I�d spent all morning filling, and gave it to the Evil Childe to carry outside. Turned on all the fans to blow air OUT of the apartment, sprayed half a can of �Mountain Fresh� Lysol....

I am just so fucking glad it didn�t burst open. There�s no way I could have cleaned up that putrescence outside of its packaging. I�d have puked, and then puked some more trying to clean up the putrescence PLUS the puke, and then puked some more.... We�d have had to move or I�d have expired in a never-ending cycle of puking, one or the other.

So there you having it... a thoroughly disgusting end to the Charming Odor Story.

***************

Today, I keep having work/school thoughts go through my head... things like �I�m in a bad mood� and �I don�t want to be here� and �I need a day off.� Weird... it�s like there�s a well-worn groove in my brain that starts playing on automatic pilot whenever I feel vaguely dissatisfied with my circumstances. Today IS my day off... and I don�t know where else it is that I think I want to be. I�m just feeling kind of restless, and torn between �want to do�s� and �have to do�s.�

What I want to do is spend the whole day drawing. I have a couple of drawings due on Tuesday and I�d like to spend some time practicing my shading techniques before I actually start the assignments. However, there are two things working against this plan. One is the fact that if I can once manage to get myself INTO �drawing mode�, I�ll be stuck there and will draw for hours, neglecting every other thing I wanted to accomplish today. The other is the lack of a clear surface upon which to work... or to sit, for that matter. (I�ve taken to hastily loading and unloading my bookbags of the various supplies I need for my different classes onto any available surface. I may have to quit school soon as I am running out of surfaces.)

What I want/need to accomplish is to organize all my school stuff and art supplies so that this will not be such a problem in the future, as well as finishing up the general cleaning I got such a good start on. I also need to get a bath and find something to wear, as we are going out to dinner with the Prince�s aunt and uncle who are in the Chicago area for a convention of some sort. I am both looking forward to this and not... I LOVE my husband�s family, they are all so smart and cool and funny that they are a pleasure to hang out with. But it�s STILL socializing and I always find that stressful no matter who I am socializing with. The Prince�s family is particularly intimidating on the small talk front, as they are all very educated and aware of current events and stuff (and that goofy sentence is a perfect indicator of the way I feel around them... kind of childish and dumb... and stuff. You know, like, twelve.) So I tend to be fairly quiet so as not to embarrass myself too badly with the idiotic stuff that tends to bypass my brain and dribble out of my drooling pie-hole any time I�m with people I�d like to... well, maybe not impress but at least not impress negatively. Thank goodness my Prince is very good at all the chatty stuff, which leaves me free to sit there and concentrate on keeping my feet off the table and not mouth-breathing too loudly.

Seriously, with this particular aunt and uncle it really should be ok. His aunt is the friendliest person I�ve ever met, and they are fascinating people with so many funny stories to tell we may not have any need to speak at all. It should be fun... all social anxiety aside.

So on that note, I�m off to go finish up my cleaning, and then get make an attempt at grooming myself to at least LOOK like a normal intelligent human being.

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Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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