My cool little brother has some of the worst bad parent karma in the history of DNA swappage.

He and his new girlfriend just bought a house, and he took my grandma over to see it. Grandma says, "Your [crazy fucking] mom lives in this neighborhood somewhere... as a matter of fact, that's her house right there IN YOUR BACK YARD!"

Yes, the [crazy fucking] mother he hasn't spoken to in 13 years and the abusive barely-ex-con she is married to are living in the house directly behind my brother's. Rumor has it, and one can only hope it is true, that they may not be living there too much longer, as Prison Boy has apparently not managed to pawn enough stolen booty to actually pay their electric bill since something like last November. Still, the idea that my brother and his family might be forced to witness their little black-and-white-trash drama unfold for ANY length of time is rather unsettling.

This situation has a weird, de ja vu like feeling to it. Back about 13 years ago, the maternal unit chose to sever all ties with her family and children rather than confront the "love of her life" (an ex-con who had been released from a nine year prison stint only three months before) about abusing her boys, which is how I ended up with custody of them. The only hitch was that when they became wards of the state during the custody hearing, the youngest boy's sperm donor legally had to be notified of the hearing. He and the maternal unit had gotten divorced when the kid was about a year old, and he skipped the state so as to avoid paying child support. We thought it was a pretty damn skippy trade for him not having visitation, seeing as how he was a drunken, crazy, abusive psycho and all. So for 11 years he never saw my brother, and we never went after him for child support even when we found out he moved back to town after a couple of years.

You'd think he wouldn't have had the balls to show up at the custody hearing owing thousands of dollars in back child support, but he did. He fed the judge a line of shit as big as an SUV about how he wanted to make a nice home for my brother with his new (8th) wife and a white picket fence and a dog; the only thing that kept THAT from happening was that I got wind of it from the caseworker and spent a very interesting and informative afternoon at the police station researching his record, and was able to hand the judge a list of domestic violence convictions against his various wives and children about three pages long. So Psycho Dad was ordered to stay the hell away from my brother, and I got custody, and we all lived happily ever after, if you don't count all the psychological damage and shit.

So a few years later, we're living in this old rented farmhouse that also had a little cottage out in back that had recently been vacated by some cracker-ass family and was available for rent. I was home alone one day, sitting there reading, when suddenly I heard a man's voice shouting "Helloooooo?" through my side door. I poked my head around the corner and who should it be but Psycho Dad! I about shit myself thinking he had tracked us down for some malicious end, but he didn't seem to recognize me. (Maybe I should have been insulted, seeing as how badly he wanted to get into my pants when I was 13, the fucker. Let a girl gain a few measly pounds...)

But anyway... he was just trying to find the house that was for rent, and I directed him to the cottage in back, and then peeked out through the kitchen window to watch with growing horror as he and the hag he was married to planned out which tree they were going to tie the dog to and where they were going to put the barbecue; while I entertained my own charming visions of the crazy fuck coming through our window some fine summer night to rape, kidnap and pillage.

But I managed to head that one off at the pass. I called the landlord and let him know that the guy who was looking to rent the back house was court-ordered to stay away from my brother, and thankfully they agreed that they would find some excuse not to rent it to him. Not being the stablest motherfucker on the planet, I'm guessing it wouldn't have been too hard to come up with a reason. I'll just damn-betcha his past landlords would have had some hair-raising stories to tell.

So with that particular bullet having been artfully dodged, how fucking weird is it that the brother in question has now inadvertantly bought a house right in the crazy mom's back yard? Kid's karma has a strange sense of humor or something.

6 felt the need to share

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Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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