The lovely, quiet little business park where I work has been overtaken by a large flock of geese who seem to have decided that the migrating crap is for the birds... other birds, that is. They seem to be settling in here for the long haul. They slowly saunter across lawns, parking lots and streets, merrily pooping as they go along, and holding up traffic in the process.

Thus, trucks and cars have taken to careening through the insolent flocks who gather in our parking lot with their horn blaring, sending geese flapping off madly in every direction, honking indignantly. Every time someone pulls in it looks like Uncle Jethro's poultry farm out there.

Speaking of nuisance animals...

Yesterday I left work a little early so I could be home when the guy from the defender's office stopped by to question the Evil Childe regarding a fight she witnessed. After checking his ID and giving him a tiny little piece of my mind for making arrangements to visit a minor at her home without consulting the parents, I let him in and then pretended to read a magazine while he questioned my daughter.

We had gotten the apartment cleaned up in anticipation of his arrival but I hadn't even thought about putting the cats away or anything. He had no sooner sat down and gotten started when, much to his horror, Luna-Tuna jumped up on the lap of his expensive black suit to welcome him to our humble abode by gleefully digging her claws into his pantlegs and shedding her pale gray fur with abandon.

I jumped up intending to grab her and toss her in the bathroom, but she's a speedy little bitch, particularly when she knows she's in trouble. So they're talking while I'm racing around the living room like a dork, chasing a cat who is dodging me by diving under, over and behind every piece of furniture in the room. I finally cornered her when she went to her "safe place" on top of the bookshelf. (This is where she goes when she is freaked out and totally trying to avoid me, which is highly amusing because it is the easiest place in the house for me to grab her.)

So I finally got her safely locked in the bathroom and sat back down with my magazine, when Punkin, the enormous orange tabby who loves you very very much, whoever you are, and wants to prove it by sitting in the middle of your chest and licking your face while breathing hot tuna breath up your nose, jumped up suddenly from beside the guy's chair and landed on his chest with a thud. I don't know if the guy was just startled by the unexpectedness of the love attack or was simply upset by having a thirty-pound cat trying to eat his face, but he shrieked like a girl and jumped halfway out of the chair before I could facilitate a rescue manuever.

I grabbed Punkin and threw him in the bathroom with Luna, or at least I would have except that Luna streaked out and we played round two of the chase game. Then when I put her back Punkin tried to squeeze out, and I had to rough him up a little, but eventually I got them both pushed through the crack in the door, though by that time I felt a little like Herman Munster trying to shut up the family dragon under the stairs: "Back, BACK! you beasts!"

So I thought we were all done with the cat problems, because those are the only two that are usually affectionate to strangers, but a few minutes later Big Fat wandered by and reared up on his back legs to take a look. By this time the poor guy's eyes were darting about the room in terror.... just how many WERE there, anyway?

I assured him that none of the other cats would get on him, but he seemed in rather a hurry to finish up and move on. The Evil Childe and I apologized profusely for our little darling's bad manners, but as soon as the door was shut we busted out and laughed ourselves to tears.

Man, I hope some Mormons come by sometime.

5 felt the need to share

Previous - Next
Last Five
Crappy job crap, weird neighbor, and someone whose baby I apparently want to have - 2006-05-08
Live from the dump - 2006-04-09
Kind of like a muzzle for your brain - 2006-03-29
...and then she fell ass-first into my cereal bowl - 2006-03-28
Playing catch-up - 2006-03-27

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